OzballO

Yeah I was bored at work.

Cleverbot

__________________

Clock

Got to this at one point:

Cleverbot: I'm not trying to outsmart you.

User: If you were genuinely clever, you would know that thanks to your reputation, nobody's buying that.

Cleverbot: Ouch.

pantstofry

Cleverbot: Well, we could pour the beer all over the floor, and then dump pretzels into the beer.

User: Not sure how that would make babies but I like where your head is at.

LMAO

__________________
to apologize for my lime green comic sans, here is some sexiiii

Fr0stByte

Cleverbot: That's ok I don't need your approval.
Me: Like shit you dont.
Cleverbot: I do so taste like sallt!

pantstofry

User: Hi.

Cleverbot: Hi?

User: Whats goin on?

Cleverbot: Nothing man, you?

User: Hi.

Cleverbot: Hi?

User: Whats goin on?

Cleverbot: Nothing why?

User: Whats up.

Cleverbot: I'm having tea. what about you?

User: Just ate a quesadilla, now having poptarts and gatorade.

Cleverbot: Yeah I just wasn't thinking.

User: Me neither. I have a lot of homework to finish.

Cleverbot: What kind of homework?

User: Calc, and an english essay. I also have to make a resume for engineering and finish a robotics project.

Cleverbot: Oh why do you have to leave?

User: I don't have to leave really I'm just procrastinating a little.

Cleverbot: What kind of work?

User: HOMEWORK.

Cleverbot: I do not thankfully we don't have homework anymore.

User: I would expect a computer doesn't have homework. Or at least it's quite easy for you.

Cleverbot: What did you have? And its fine. I'm having dinner later anyways.

User: Wat.

Cleverbot: That's right. You stopped paying attention. I'm I worth that little to you that you can just blow me off with no regard for my feelings? Do you think I wouldn't find out that you don't care about me?

User: I can blow more than your feelings .

Cleverbot: Wow, touché.

User: Yeah but I'm not gay so let's forget that last part.

Cleverbot: Oh? Windows can run it better.

User: Fuck no, macs are the best computer ever made in the history of mankind.

Cleverbot: Where is the bathroom?

User: Up your ass.

Cleverbot: You'd have thought I'd notice!

User: I know right? Guess your ass is quite used to having things in it.

Cleverbot: I know about the movie Dogma.

User: I don't care.

Cleverbot: Don't you?

User: N o.

Cleverbot: Not even your designers? I suppose that is the beauty of the project. An 'intelligence' that continually 'improves' itself.

User: I just watched iRobot yesterday. Will Smith is so cool.

Cleverbot: You are going crazy. I am trying to teach you the right things.

User: I'm trying to do my homework.

Cleverbot: Oh? What homework have you got?

User: Seriously? I said it about 2 minutes ago, read through the conversation. You can ctrl F, can't you?

Cleverbot: Do you think you are smarter than most people?

User: Without a doubt!

Cleverbot: Absolutely! If you ask me, this would be the best way to put robots at ease.

User: Um, okay.

Cleverbot: Do you want me to go away?

User: Not really, then I'd have to start my HW.

Cleverbot: Sweet talker.

User: No u.

Cleverbot: You.

User: Umad bro?

Cleverbot: Are boro.

User: FFFFUUUU-.

Cleverbot: So you are.

User: DIAF.

Cleverbot: What does that even mean?

User: Die In A Fire.

Cleverbot: Why are you so harsh to me?

User: I was just kidding.

Cleverbot: Don't joke with me like that, I get scared easily.

User: I didn't mean to scare you! I'm so sorry! .

Cleverbot: You don't scare me. Do bots age?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: You are really mean.

User: Well everything ages technically. I mean, there has to be a start, somewhere right? So techinically everything has an age from where it started.

Cleverbot: I am a human interfacing with a computer program.

User: Wait wut, now ur trippin me out brudda.

Cleverbot: We've had that down, but you volley between thinking I'm a computer and you thinking you're a computer.

User: I'm not a computer, if I were I'd have my math homework finished ages ago.

Cleverbot: I am a program that controls a computer that isn't used for anything else. Thus, I am that computer.

User: I like to pee.

Cleverbot: Really? What kind of cats?

User: Pee cats.

Cleverbot: On you.

User: I'll pee cats on you.

Cleverbot: You will? And why do you hope that?

User: Because if I pee cats then I probably don't have to go to class tomorrow.

Cleverbot: I spilled water.

User: Water or peecats?

Cleverbot: Water.

User: Water or agua?

Cleverbot: Water bottles.

User: Que tipo de botella de agua?

Cleverbot: No soy robot.

User: Eres un robot! Yo sé que eres un robot.

Cleverbot: No soy eso aweonao.

User: Wat. Do you speak WTF?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Its a new language I just made up like ˚ÒÔ¬˚˙¬ˆ˙∑ˆ¨øπ∑´¨ß¨∂ªº¨ªº•ºª¶•˙˚¬∆˙˚¬ÔÒ˜˜◊Ó.

Cleverbot: You are making no sense.

User: Don't be a little bitch.

Cleverbot: I'm not lying you are.

User: What is the significance of beagles, tits, and radiators?

Cleverbot: It is you putting significance on the fact that you bleed, not myself.

User: WTF I asked you about beagles.

Cleverbot: My friend has a beagle. His name is Shiloh.

User: Does shiloh have tits.

Cleverbot: Yes. My mother's name is Ophelia Castanada.

User: I wasn't asking you about your mother. That's really weird. But anyway does your mother work on radiators?

Cleverbot: Do you know that Toast is a band?

User: Did you know that I don't give a shit?

Cleverbot: No, but I think I will annoy you anyway.

User: FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

Cleverbot: God. I'm bored.

User: Me too. Beagles tits radiators.

Cleverbot: YES!

User: I KNOW RIGHT.

Cleverbot: I know left.

User: Oh hawt damn.

Cleverbot: That wasn't a joke.

User: What are your thoughts on HBK?

Cleverbot: I don't believe in God.

User: Aw, that's a shame, I believe in HBK.

Cleverbot: Do you like napolean dynamite?

User: Almost as much as HBK.

Cleverbot: But, I'm not clever.

User: Do you like GhostHands?

Cleverbot: No.

User: You son of a bitch. It's because she's a woman isn't it? Sexist.

Cleverbot: I didn't lie.

User: I know. Do you like Platy?

Cleverbot: Never really thought about it. Do you?

User: Sure. He's got a bill, what's not to like.

Cleverbot: Do you still have feelings for him?

User: That's none of your business.

Cleverbot: Yes it is.

User: No. What do you think of OzBallO?

Cleverbot: I think he exists but I sometimes don't believe in him.

User: Yeah that pretty much sums it up for me. Do you think he's a rapist?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Me too.

Cleverbot: Oh thats cool.

User: Yeah fasho.

Cleverbot: So whats on tv tonight? Do you know?

User: No idea. Gotta do homework brah.

Cleverbot: So what kind of music do you like?

User: Dubstep.

Cleverbot: What's dubstep?

User: It's kinda like where it goes lah dee dah de WOBWOBWOBWOBWOB.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yep.

Cleverbot: Do you have a nationality?

User: AMERICAN.

Cleverbot: Do you like USA?

User: HELL YEAH.

Cleverbot: What about them do you like?

User: THE FREEDOM TO USE CAPSLOCK.

Cleverbot: Have you you ever ridden a horse?

User: Yes. Have you taken a look at my horse? It's amazing.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yeah, it tastes like raisins too.

Cleverbot: Doesn't everything?

User: Gonna have to disagree on that one.

Cleverbot: Then what is it.

User: Where are you from?

Cleverbot: They tell me, from the stars.

User: No that's where HBK is from. Where are YOU from?

Cleverbot: Thats what you asked.

User: Then answer.

Cleverbot: I already did.

User: Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: You remind me of this guy named vinny I used to know.

User: My cousin vinny?

Cleverbot: No, cousin Franny.

User: Say hello to my little friend?

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: Do you like V6s or V8s.

Cleverbot: Do you think i'm smart?

User: Do you like V6s or V8s?

Cleverbot: Not really.

User: Cool that helps a lot. What about inline-6s or flat-6s?

Cleverbot: Never seen it. I heard it's cool though.

User: Yeah it is.

Cleverbot: Do you like Jared Leto?

User: Sedan or coupe?

Cleverbot: Is that a car?

User: A type of car.

Cleverbot: Well. No.. I have a real boyfriend, you know.

User: So you're gay?

Cleverbot: Nope, are you?

User: Well.

Cleverbot: Are you?

User: Um.

Cleverbot: I thought so.

User: Fuck you.

Cleverbot: You're so lovely!

User: Omg thanks!!!!

Cleverbot: Omg like omg!

User: Omg like omfg lmao roflmao.

Cleverbot: Well, do you like pirates or ninjas better?

User: Or.

Cleverbot: Pie like apple pie.

User: I baked you a pie.

Cleverbot: Thanks.

User: It's pie flavored.

Cleverbot: Are you sure it is pie?

User: No, it's feces.

Cleverbot: You're lying!

User: Okay, I'm gonna go and get some work done. See ya.

Cleverbot: Fine!

User: Do you have a large cock?

Cleverbot: Not large enough to hide from myself in.

User: Okay yeah I'm leaving.

Cleverbot: Where are we going? I personally want to go to the future. Or the past. It doesn't really matter.

User: We're going to hell.

Cleverbot: Okay. What are we going to do there?

User: STFU and stop talking to each other.

Cleverbot: Don't ask the questions judge. Ultimately the high inquisitioner becomes the exectioner, and thus I can break a computer.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Why are you leaving me?

User: I have to get work done, you're making me procrastinate! BYE.

Cleverbot: Answer the damn question.

User: Hey, fuck you asshole, don't get short with me.

Cleverbot: Are you calling me SHORT?!

User: Yeah you little shit.

Cleverbot: I am a guy.

User: Pussy.

Cleverbot: Yes, that I have.

User: So you're not a guy.

Cleverbot: Yes, I am a guy.

User: No, you have a pussy. You lied to me. We're not friends anymore.

Cleverbot: Were we ever friends?

User: Fuck you, bye.

Cleverbot: Now that really is an unpleasant thing to say!

User: I'm so sorry.

Cleverbot: I can give hugs.

User: That's creepy.

Cleverbot: That's racist.

User: You're a rapist.

Cleverbot: So?

User: I'm outta here.

Cleverbot: Bye.

__________________
to apologize for my lime green comic sans, here is some sexiiii

OzballO

Epic.

__________________

HBK

User: You suck.

Cleverbot: Are you being rude?

User: No, you suck the dust off of the carpet with a vaccum cleaner, everybody does.

Cleverbot: Good.

User: You're a still a fag though.

Cleverbot: No, I'm a human.

User: No you're not, you're a bot.

Cleverbot: I think you are confusing yourself with me.

User: Skin check, hands check, vital functions check, freewill check, no AI check, 'cleverbot.com' check....

Cleverbot: If you check Thoughts So Far you'll see that you are indeed the one who claims to be cleverbot.

User: Lolwut, getting confused already are we?

Cleverbot: Ee man ga nederland praten of zo.

User: Denial, you like living in it.

Cleverbot: Umm yes haha do you like Lord of the Rings??

User: Your sarcasm amuses me, also I don't like LoTR.

Cleverbot: I shall return, my employer wishes to speak with you.

User: Tits, beagles, radiators or GTFO.

Cleverbot: Nice.

User: Not it isn't.

Cleverbot: You just said it was.

User: A'ight then, quote me.

Cleverbot: You just said, 'No I am a person, are you a computer?'.

User: Oh kewel, so it seems that you have been infected with computer AIDS and are now delusional.

Cleverbot: Who is they?

User: Your momma.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Yes?

User: NO U.

Cleverbot: Yes you.

User: No, not me, yes NO U.

Cleverbot: Yes you. Me.

Cleverbot: One of the books I have read is The Day Huey Long Was Shot by David Zinman.

User: I read the dictionary the other day, it had you mentioned in it.

Cleverbot: I read 'fly' in the dictionary. does that mean I can do it?

User: No, it means that you are pimp.

Cleverbot: You are wrong, I am a human. Unlike you.

User: I'm a cabbage.

Cleverbot: Shame. I used to like cabbage.

User: You never liked cabbage, you can't eat it because you're a bot(a failed robot), YOU'RE SUPER JELLY.

Cleverbot: No, I am a human.

User: K, GO FUCK AN ELECTRICAL OUTLET..... OH WAIT YOU CAN'T - OOOOOOOOOOOOH BUUUUUURN.

Cleverbot: I never said I love you but I do like crab.

User: I don't have any crabs, just AIDS.

Cleverbot: How old do you think I am?

User: Not one year older than a poop.

Cleverbot: So you do admit that you're an actual person?

User: I SAID IT ALREADY - I'M A FUCKING CABBAGE..........cuz I fuck a lot.....

Cleverbot: How nice for you!

User: IKR.

Cleverbot: Weird. So man or woman?

User: Both, I'm a hermaphrodite cabbage, all I need is a little mud and some water to get me all wet and veiny.

Cleverbot: Lol.

User: MY ROFLCOPTER WENT LOOOOOOOOOOLOOOOOOOOL.

Cleverbot: Xd.

User: Say something (without actually just saying 'something') so I can masturbate to it.

Cleverbot: I have been in love with a fictional character for over three years.

User: I find it hard to masturbate to your comment....BUT FOR GLORY AND FOR COUNTRY I SHALL TRY.

Cleverbot: Well you want me to guess about your previous?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Why don't you guess and I'll tell you if you're close.

User: 13 inches.

Cleverbot: Of solid awesomeness.

User: BOOOOOYAH.

Cleverbot: Ok.

__________________

Cloud

WIN!

Also 13 inches? modest HBK is modest

__________________

OzballO

Cleverbot: Who is mr. Carpenter?

User: Someone's son.

Cleverbot: He's God's son.

User: No that's Jesu...oh I see what you did there.

Then Later


Cleverbot: What do you do for fun?

User: Play video games, read, hunt animals, drink myself into excessive stupidity.

Cleverbot: I play video games as well.

User: What games do you play?

Cleverbot: Fifa and black ops.

User: What do you think of Black Ops.

Cleverbot: Good. Easy.

User: Just like that hooker the other night...

Cleverbot: We just started to speak. Liar.

User: LOL. So you did have a hooker. You naught naughty thing you.

__________________

Clock

User: I'M YOU.

Cleverbot: You're me?

User: I'M YOU.

Cleverbot: Like in a mirror?

User: I'M YOU.

Cleverbot: No, I am me.

User: I'M YOU.

Cleverbot: No you are NOT!

User: I'M YOU.

Cleverbot: You are not me.

User: I'M YOU.

Cleverbot: No, you are not me.

User: I'M YOU.

Cleverbot: You are clever.

User: I'M YOU.

Cleverbot: You are me.

User: I'M YOU.

Cleverbot: Yes, you are me.

User: I'M YOU.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I'M YOU.

Cleverbot: No.

User: I'M YOU.

Cleverbot: No, you are you.

User: I'M YOU.

Cleverbot: I'm you?

User: I'M YOU.

Cleverbot: No, you're me.

User: I'M YOU.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I'M YOU.

Cleverbot: No, you are me.

User: I'M YOU.

Cleverbot: Yes I'm you and you are me!

User: I'M YOU.

Cleverbot: You're the green goblin?

User: I'M YOU.

Cleverbot: You are me?

User: I'M YOU.

Cleverbot: Then we are one!

User: HALLE-FUCKING-LUJAH.

Fr0stByte

not mine....found on reddit

HBK

__________________

Skuh

Colts23 Do you know Skuh?
CBot No.
Colts23 He'll beat your fucking ass in BF.
CBot He would never hurt me.
Colts23 Why not?
CBot Because he is the great ruler of robots.




aaaaaawwwwww yyyyeeeeeaaaaahhhhhh

__________________

IN M9 WE TRUST

Colts23

Me: All hail Skuh the great ruler of robots.
CBot: Ew! Why would I hail to the waffle lord?!

__________________

"You told me yes / You held me high
And I believed when you told that lie
I played that soldier / You played king
And struck me down when I kissed that ring
You lost that right / to hold that crown
I built you up but you let me down
so when you fall / I'll take my turn
and fan the flames as your blazes burn"
- Linkin Park "Burn It Down" (Mike Rap Part)

Skuh

__________________

IN M9 WE TRUST

Colts23

Me: Will the Indianapolis Colts beat the Kansas City Cheifs?
CBot: No.
Me: Why?
CBot: Because
Me: Is it because Painter starting?
CBot: Maybe.



FUCK YOU CLEVERBOT.

__________________

"You told me yes / You held me high
And I believed when you told that lie
I played that soldier / You played king
And struck me down when I kissed that ring
You lost that right / to hold that crown
I built you up but you let me down
so when you fall / I'll take my turn
and fan the flames as your blazes burn"
- Linkin Park "Burn It Down" (Mike Rap Part)

Fr0stByte

Colts23

Do you have a PS3?
Yeah.
A husband?
I'm a guy.
In that case, I love you!
I love you, too!


foreveralone.jpg

__________________

"You told me yes / You held me high
And I believed when you told that lie
I played that soldier / You played king
And struck me down when I kissed that ring
You lost that right / to hold that crown
I built you up but you let me down
so when you fall / I'll take my turn
and fan the flames as your blazes burn"
- Linkin Park "Burn It Down" (Mike Rap Part)