Pyro

Today, I got to thinking about whether or not I even enjoy video games, and in the end I sort of decided I don't. And yet, all day everyday I am either on the Xbox or my computer doing...well a game. On rare occasions that I hang out with the friends I have neglected for years now, and luckily for me, they've still been there and never really forgot about me. Though, it is a bit depressing when I do hang out with them that they've got all this stuff to talk about...and well...I got to tell them how well i did in a Team Deathmatch last night. I don't even really understand why I continue to exhibit such behaviors. I know I would much rather hang out with friends, and yet I can never seem to do so. Usually I just end up making an excuse, and I go home and waste away the days with my virtual drugs.

Due to video games, I've had a lot of psychological problems over the past few years. I have neglected so much schoolwork over the past years. When I was in elementary school I took an IQ test and scored ~140, iirc. And yet, I only graduated passing Algebra II/Trig. All of my siblings too majorily AP classes - I was in special education for 2 years. This was all because I would just not go to school,e ven, and I'd play games. And, of course, I obviously didn't do my HW. Additionally, this led me to have little to no work ethic. Things I should have learned, I haven't. The only real thing I've learned is how to be fake. I can lie pretty damn well just to fit in to a situation, but that isn't enjoyable in the long run. My brain has put video games on a pedastol. In fact, the most major thing that has even held me back from suicide is that I was curious of how games might change. That is so fucking stupid.

So, it is obvious to me, this is addiction. I can recognize it, I can hate it, but I can't seem to stop it. Day after day, I know I don't want to be doing this, and I do. I've come to realize what my life is, and I hate it. I guess it is back to coasting through life again, numbing my emotions through the escape from reality.

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Voodoo

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My YouTube Channel

Serval

Sarcastic, the smiley is not.

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OzballO

Hmm, we talk later k?

Ironically this would be on Xbox Live =/

oneinchwunda

You've had a lot of time to think about this. It kinda makes me think about future, like a sort of warning to me.

I certainly understand how you feel though.

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Pyro

I just don't like talking about too much on the mic because everyone in my house is nosy.

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Gia

Man I can see where your coming from. I often postpone nights out with very good friends in fear that I might lose some form on mw2. Ive been guilty of even refusing a mates birthday as I know it will mean too long from my ps3. Yet when im in work and I want to chat about stuff I know through experience that no one can contribute to my cod related banter. I have a good balance of work/gf/friends but at times my gaming does encroach on my life more than it should and for what???, so that I can tell my gf who doesnt even know what cod is, that I owned on team tactical last night........?.

JoLo

It sounds to me that you are depressed, gaming helps fuel and give excuse to the alienation and depression you feel. If you feel that you want to change, recognize that it is unhealthy then please...get help. The very best thing you can do is get help. You cannot do this on your own. If parents won't take you seriously don't get discouraged, often parents don't like to admit something is wrong. Take yourself to a guidance counselor or doctor. You need to act quickly, and work in the best interest to make yourself happy or at least bring yourself out of darkness. I understand those feelings completely, gaming actually helped bring me out of that. But everything is different for each person. All I can say is get help...any help, wherever you can get it. Depression is something that will only get worse if you leave it alone, you must be treated.

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Pyro

Not so much depressed as I am just disappointed. I am disappointed that I did this to myself. But I know I have to change. I need to want to do something else. I need to settle issues so I can get a car, get a job, and get money to do other things. Go to concerts, go out on the lake with some friends, etc. I got myself into this mess, I need to get myself out. Despite having these sad revalations, somehow, I've still thought positively that someday, hopefully soon, I can have the life I truly desire, and it is up to me to get myself there.

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pantstofry

be pushy about making friends. Like force yourself into a circle of people that you'd want to hang out with. Don't be obnoxious, but after a while they'll be cool with hanging out w/you.

i went from knowing like 150/200 people in middle school to 15/1100 in high school, so i had to adapt and break through those gay social circles that kids still continue in senior year. But just go do stuff, find another hobby. I love videogames and love to play them when im bored, but i haven't done it since probably mid august, and im fine. Just try new things (other than drugs, they r is bad stuffs)

Olaf Vikingsson

Man up.

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